Luvhertz Blog
Is Capability a Dating Detriment
Is a woman’s ability to take care of herself and the fact that she is a strong, capable, woman actually a detriment to her dating profile?
I was single for a long time and I grew up doing things for myself. I didn’t have a father who would lift heavy boxes or open jars for me. I never needed much help doing these basic things, challenging as they might have sometimes been. I could open my own jars, move my own furniture, change a fuse, and set up electronics and computers by myself. OK, so I couldn’t stop bullets with my bangle but you get where I’m going.
I’d heard the rhetoric from men that they “like strong, independent women” but observations told me that the rhetoric was just that. Most of the single women I knew and observed were extremely independent and, likely out of necessity, were very self-reliant and capable. This seemed to beg the question: “Are strong, independent women viewed as undesirable?” and “Do men prefer to date a more needy, less capable woman?”
I thought relationships were about WANT not NEED and about desire, passion and respect, rather than dependence. Most of the single and highly capable ladies I knew did yearn to be in loving and romantic relationships. And let’s face it, there are some things we do prefer a man to do for us . . . 
Aaaanyway,,, as a very honest man explained to me, men’s egos drive them and their egos create their desire to feel needed. Was this the key that I was missing? NEEDINESS? This was hard for me; I wasn’t raised to be needy. “So what! Just pretend!” I was advised. But, isn’t that dishonest, desperate and, not to mention, highly manipulative? So was I supposed to “act” like I couldn’t change the light bulb and that the door was too heavy for me to open? Really?
Speaking of “doors”, I am reminded of another aspect of the discussion that can’t be overlooked, CHIVALRY. I am capable, but when a man offers me his strength and service so I don’t HAVE to do it myself, it’s sweet, totally appreciated and really attractive! I think chivalry could be defined as taking actions to be an everyday hero. Doing things for women (despite the facts that women can manage these simple tasks on their own) as a gesture of male strength and masculinity for the purpose of being upstanding.
So yes, I admit it! I want someone who WANTS to take care of me despite the fact I can take care of myself. Again, want vs. need.
I’ve recently become involved in a loving romantic relationship with a very strong, intelligent and loving man. He admires, respects and seems to adore my independent nature and strength. My sweetheart was raised by a very strong mother and is surrounded by aunts and cousins who would all be described as independent and self-sufficient ladies. Maybe it’s a matter of upbringing or just what one is used to.
To be honest I still think of myself as an exception. The majority of the single ladies I know are successful, strong, independent and self-sufficient. That doesn’t mean that they cannot accept help or that they don’t want it. These ladies are gorgeous, funny, objectively attractive and yes, they do desire to be in loving romantic relationships. The only common denominator seems to be their strength. What’s going on? Help me out here, I want to sort this one out.
21 Comments
Leave a comment
Quick Reference
The dynamics of the female psyche will never be understood.Vacillations-Yes today,no tomorrow ;No today, yes tomorrow. Go figure.
Mr. Expert,
Are you going to have a follow up post or article about this anytime soon?
_______
“Providing you with great tips on Income & Bankruptcy” …
( http://www.QSLaw.com )
Thanks for reading! Sure, I’ll work on it Brian, what are your thoughts?
What a nice post. I really love reading these types or articles. I can?t wait to see what others have to say.
Thanks for the helpful post! I would not have gotten this otherwise!
Je suis récemment tombé sur votre blog et ont été la lecture de long. J’ai pensé que je laisserais mon premier commentaire. Je ne sais pas quoi dire sauf que j’ai eu plaisir à lire. Nice blog.
Thank you, nice job! This was the stuff I had to have.
I have been hunting for the similar posting like this. You have made my day. Now I can think of just one thing and that is giving my comment as a way of showing gratitude.And yes i have digg your site http://www.luvhertz.com .
Hey,
What happened to your follow up article?
_______
Check out my Health article on Neck pain
( http://community.ashworthcollege.edu/community/fields/education/blog/2011/04/14/how-to-change-health-insurance )
Haha, sorry got caught up with work stuff! I haven’t forgotten though.
I wished to thank you for this great learn!! I definitely having fun with each little bit of it I’ve you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you publish
This one is an inspiration personally to uncover out way more related to this subject. I need to confess your information extended my sentiments in addition to I’m going to right now take your feed to remain up to date on every coming weblog posts you would possibly presumably create. You are worthy of thanks for a job perfectly performed!
What i find troublesome is to discover a weblog that may seize me for a minute but your blog is different. Bravo.
woow ! Very interesting post I like your website keep up the great posts
thesis writing
I have to admit that i sometimes get bored to learn the whole thing however i feel you’ll be able to add some value. Bravo !
Very true! Makes a change to see someone spell it out like that.
I don’t even realize how I stopped up proper here, even so I thought this put up was fantastic. I don’t recognize who you might be but unquestionably you might be going to a renowned blogger in the event you are not already. Cheers!
I truly appreciate your web page. Thank you for your insights and guidance.
I learned a lot from this post, much appreciated!
Thanks so much for posting all of the excellent content! Looking forward to reading more blogs.
Good post! Found a lot of new and interesting! Will share the link with others:DD